My Journey Through Divorce, Relationships, and Self-Discovery: Turning shame and judgement into growth
Hey hey beautiful soul! Welcome to another special episode of the Aligned & Magnetic podcast. I’m Lauren Ashley, and today, we’re continuing the story about one of the most transformative periods of my life. Buckle up, because we’re diving deep into my journey through divorce, unconventional relationships, facing shame, judgement and guilt, and the powerful lessons I learned along the way.
Listen to the full episode on my podcast below, on Apple here or Spotify here.
During this time, I found myself doing a lot of soul-searching. The world around me seemed to question my decisions, but I knew I had to stay true to myself. This experience re-taught me a valuable lesson that I have always shared with my clients: the importance of looking within yourself first.
Watch the full episode on YouTube here:
Navigating External Opinions and Internal Truth: How I turned shame and judgement into growth
One of the biggest challenges I faced was dealing with the opinions of others. It’s easy to get caught up in what everyone else thinks, especially when they’re telling you that you’re making the wrong decision. But here’s the truth bomb I want to drop: everyone on this planet has a different experience, and your experience and truth is unique to you.
There were many times I was questioned, judged or when people would make comments about my situation without even really knowing it…A past version of myself would have taken these comments at face value and would have sent me spiralling, questioning myself and my partner. I would have gotten stuck in my head worrying about whether what others were saying was the truth and if maybe I was just being naive or oblivious.
Looking within yourself first looks like asking yourself what (if any) parts of you agree with the feedback you’re receiving from your external reality. What parts of you are unsure? Where do you lack confidence in yourself and your decisions? Where are you outsourcing your power and seeking external validation?
When we receive feedback and we know we’re in the wrong, it hits.
But when we receive feedback and we know it couldn’t be further from the truth, we can confidently say ‘I hear that, and that’s not for me’.
The goal here is to become so rock solid in who you are and what you stand for that other people’s opinions and judgements really don’t impact your decision making at the end of the day. You can hear what they have to say with an open heart, empathize because if you had their life experience you might come to the same conclusions (or not), and choose to know that you know what’s best for you at any given moment.
The human brain is wired to recognize patterns and make assumptions based on our past experiences. This means that every single person is living in their own unique reality and red flags that go off for them might not necessarily be warranted in your unique situation. Understanding this was a game-changer for me. It allowed me to hear and consider what others had to say, and also separate their projections from my own truth.
The Power of Creating Your Own Experience
One of the most liberating realizations I had was that I’m here to create my own experience. I’m not meant to live a conventional life, and that’s okay! In fact, it’s more than okay – it’s beautiful and empowering.
Remember this: at the end of the day, you’re the one who lives with the consequences of your decisions. No one else needs to worry about that but you. So in a sense, yeah, you can just say “f*&k them” to the naysayers, but it’s more about knowing deep within yourself that your journey is uniquely yours.
The Importance of Communication and Boundaries
Looking back, I realize that one area where I could have done better was in communication and setting boundaries. Many people don’t effectively communicate what they’re going through or what they’re thinking and feeling. This lack of communication and setting boundaries can lead to chaos, misunderstandings and people pushing beyond your limits.
If you don’t properly express yourself to others, how can they possibly understand what you’re experiencing or what you need? It’s a lesson I learned the hard way, but it’s one that has dramatically improved my relationships – both personal and professional.
Although to be fair to myself, I don’t think I fully understood what was going on either – I was figuring it all out as I went.
Trusting Your Instincts
If there’s one piece of advice I want you to take away from this episode, it’s this: trust your instincts. We are all designed differently, with our own internal guidance system.
Your decisions don’t always have to be logical. What matters most is that they feel true to you and align with your authentic self. This approach has guided me through some of the toughest decisions in my life, and it’s never steered me wrong.
My Partner’s Perspective
I’m not alone in this journey, and I wanted to share some insights from my partner’s perspective as she supported me through this challenging journey. Alexis beautifully articulated the importance of intuition, saying, “I am a true believer of your intuition. I think that’s all we have on this earth that’s truly ours, and it’s guided by the universe or our angels or destiny.”
She reminded me that even when following your intuition leads to difficult times, it’s all part of a bigger plan. Those challenging moments often pave the way for something better, something more aligned with your true self.
The Role of Destiny in Our Lives
This journey has made me ponder deeply about the concept of destiny versus free will. It’s a fascinating topic that I often contemplate, especially when I experience vivid dreams or moments of déjà vu.
While I believe in the power of willpower and choice, I also think there are certain milestones we’re meant to reach – our destiny moments, if you will. The path to get there might be up to us, but ultimately, we end up where we’re supposed to be.
Embracing Your Unconventional Path
What’s truly mind-blowing about this whole experience is how it aligns with my astrological chart and human design. It’s as if this journey was written in the stars, waiting for me to embark upon it.
My mission in life, as reflected in my chart, is to move away from societal norms and standards. I’m here to look within, find my own answers, and forge a path that works for me. This realization has not only transformed my personal life but has become the foundation of my business and the way I work with clients.
The Reality of Manifestation
Now, let’s talk about manifestation for a moment. It’s a buzzword in the personal development world, but it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. Manifestation isn’t just about calling in 10k months, dream clients, soulmates, or your perfect home.
The real power of manifestation lies in how you navigate the trenches, how you pull yourself out of the muck, and how you turn challenging experiences into learning opportunities. It’s about growing from these experiences so that you can become your best self and create even more magical moments in life.
Closing Thoughts
Remember, your journey is uniquely yours. Trust your intuition, communicate openly, and don’t be afraid to forge your own path.
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Ready to discover how to use your intuition as your #1 guide so you can get back on track to creating success on your terms? Jump into my Own Your Intuition Workshop here. This 60-min workshop will help you go from feeling overwhelmed, lost and stuck in analysis paralysis to knowing the aligned steps you need to take to follow your intuitive guidance!
Until next time, keep shining your beautiful light. Remember, you are aligned, you are magnetic, and you are capable of creating a life beyond your wildest dreams.
With love and gratitude,
Lauren Ashley xo
Your blog is a true gem in the world of online content. I’m continually impressed by the depth of your research and the clarity of your writing. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us.