We are back and ready to dive into part 4 of my love story that originated with the start of my Saturn Return. From getting divorced to stepping outside of societies boxes and embracing my new relationship with my now wife… Grab a cozy blanket, maybe a warm cup of tea, and let’s dive into a journey that changed my life in ways I never expected.
Listen to the full episode on my podcast below, on Apple or Spotify.
The Unexpected Turn: When Life Throws You a Curveball
Life has a funny way of surprising us, doesn’t it? One moment, you think you have it all figured out, and the next, you’re standing at a crossroads you never saw coming. That’s exactly where I found myself not too long ago.
I was running my New Paradigm CEO mastermind, feeling on top of the world. My coaching business was thriving, and I felt like I was living my purpose. But as the saying goes, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
The Unraveling: Facing Divorce and Self-Doubt
As my mastermind program came to an end, I was hit with a tidal wave of change. I was going through a divorce, questioning my worth, and feeling lost in my business. It was like the ground beneath my feet had suddenly turned to quicksand.
Every day, I woke up questioning my value. “Why would anyone want to pay me for coaching?” “What do I even have to offer?” These thoughts plagued me constantly for over a year. It was a stark contrast to the confident coach I had been just months before.
Watch the full episode on Youtube!
Saturn Return: Navigating the Cosmic Storm
Looking back, I realize this period coincided with my Saturn return – a time astrologers often describe as a cosmic coming-of-age. See my last blog post here to learn more about Saturn Return. It felt like I was walking through a thick fog for two whole years, unsure of my direction or purpose.
But here’s the thing about fog – it eventually lifts. And when it does, you often find yourself in a place you never expected, but exactly where you need to be.
The Unexpected Love: The Universe has a way of giving you exactly what you want…
In the midst of this personal and professional turmoil, something beautiful and unexpected happened. I fell in love. Not just any love, but a love that felt so right, so natural, that it caught me completely off guard.
It was everything I envisioned I could have in a loving and deep relationship. It’s what I had been wanting to make happen in my marriage but my ex just wasn’t ready to go there I guess… So life brought me exactly what I wanted in a way I never expected.
I met this amazing woman, and suddenly, all those questions about my sexuality that had been bubbling under the surface for years started to make sense. It wasn’t about being gay or straight or bi – it was about following my heart and embracing love in its purest form.
The Coming Out That Wasn’t: Breaking Free from Labels
Now, here’s where things get interesting. When people found out about my new relationship, they immediately wanted to put me in a box. “Oh, so you’re a lesbian now?” “Have you always known you were bi?”
But here’s the thing – I don’t believe in boxes. I don’t believe in labels. I believe in love, in its many beautiful, diverse forms. My “coming out” wasn’t really a coming out at all. It was simply me being true to myself and following my heart.
Embracing My Truest Authentic Self
This journey of self-discovery went far beyond just my sexuality. It was a spiritual awakening, a realization that I am here to embody love in all its forms. In human design terms, I discovered that my incarnation cross is the right angle vessel of love.
What does that mean? It means I’m here to be love for myself, to love humanity, and to teach others how to love themselves and love humanity. I’m here to be the embodiment of love, in all its messy, beautiful, human glory.
Our Mayan Wedding Ritual
Remember how I mentioned falling in love? Well, that love led to a beautiful, spontaneous and private Mayan wedding ceremony in our home. I didn’t tell many people about it after because I was so afraid of what people would think or say about me, and at that point I couldn’t handle any more scrutiny.
It was a magical, spontaneous, and perfect moment for us. Just like love should be.
The Impact my Saturn Return had on my Business: When Personal Meets Professional
Now, let’s talk about how all of this affected my business. As a coach and online entrepreneur, so much of my work involves showing up, being visible, and building relationships. But how do you do that when you’re going through such intense personal changes?
I struggled. I tried to latch onto anything I could, promoting different programs based on what I was experiencing. But nothing really took off. And you know what? That was okay. Sometimes, we need that space to grow, to change, to become who we’re meant to be.
It was extremely difficult in those moments to accept that because I felt like the biggest failure… But embracing the present moment is what got me through those difficult times.
The Lesson: Embracing the Journey
Looking back, I realize that this period of struggle was exactly what I needed. It stripped away all the layers of who I thought I should be, revealing the authentic, loving, powerful woman I am at my core.
Yes, it was hard. Yes, there were days when I questioned everything. But each of those difficult moments was a step on the path to becoming who I am today.
A Message from my Saturn Return: You Are Worthy of Love
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from my story, it’s this: You are worthy of love. Not just romantic love, but self-love, universal love, the kind of love that transcends labels and boxes and societal expectations.
You are worthy of following your heart, even when it leads you to unexpected places. You are worthy of being true to yourself, even when others don’t understand.
As I continue to grow, both personally and professionally, I invite you to join me on this journey. Whether you’re struggling with self-doubt, navigating big life changes, or simply trying to find your authentic path, know that you’re not alone.
I’m here, sharing my story, my struggles, and my triumphs, in the hope that it might help you on your own journey of self-discovery and love.
Make sure you listen to the full episode on my Podcast or Youtube Channel.
Listen to the full episode on Apple
Listen to the full episode on Spotify
The Conclusion: Embracing Love in All Its Forms
So this is me… Lauren Ashley, coach, podcaster, wife, traveler and eternal student of life and love. I’m not perfect. I’m still learning, still growing, still figuring things out. But I’m doing it with an open heart, embracing love in all its forms.
Ready to discover how to use your intuition as your #1 guide so you can get back on track to creating success on your terms? Jump into my Own Your Intuition Workshop here. This 60-min workshop will help you go from feeling overwhelmed, lost and stuck in analysis paralysis to knowing the aligned steps you need to take to follow your intuitive guidance!
And that, my friends, is the most beautiful journey of all.
Until next time, remember to love yourself, love others, and keep shining your beautiful light on the world.
With all my love,
Lauren Ashley
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